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Home Category Blog Tired of pain

Tired of pain

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 Again I wake up with a super severe pain that starts in my neck and travles down to my toes,they are all curled up. I remember when I first got polio in 1956 My Mom had to by a certain type of shoe. Saddle shoes were the only ones made to keep feet in a certain position. They do not make them as stong as they use too. They took these shoes and drilled 2 holes in each one of the shoes. They then screwed them to the bottom of the crib. They made me lay in bed for hours. If I was in bed I was attached to the bed. Even at night while I slept. And when I was up I had to wear a second set of the same shoes. I hate saddle shoes! The best part of learning to use my hip and leg muscles was when they put me in a warm pool of water. I learn how to swim with the help of a nurse. I still swim like I have a disablity. Looks funny but is great to do! Polio was called a silent killer back then and a lot of shame came  whith having the desease. We all were taught to suffer in silence! Do not talk about it. Period! I will be 56 on Monday. My best friend back then was a girl named Susie, she lived in an iron lung, they allowed me to see her about 2 times a day to help keep her spirits up. One night I heard a lot of racket in the iron lung unit, no one bother to tell me. Until I pushed my wheelchair into her unit to say good morning. Her iron lung was empty. She had died in the night.

Learning to walk again was quite a painful and tiring job. I still have some of the symptons. I get tired to easely. I can not know from one moment to the next when I will go down. That is what what I call being tired. You can see it in my face. It happens so fast that it pisses me off, because I can not finish what I am doing. If I try to go on I can not think. I blank out. Marijuana gives me the strenth I need to finish several chores before I go down. At times I get so frustrated. I am so tired of being tired and in pain.              Chi

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